“I am not cut out for this!” “I don't think I can do this anymore!” “I don't think I have what it takes to do this homeschooling thing!”
Would you believe me if I told you these words came from me about 20 years into homeschooling? I assure you, they truly did. I share this because I feel it is important to understand that even with years of homeschooling under my belt, my children and I still face imperfect days and challenges along the way. You never really arrive to a level of perfection in homeschooling, where you float through your day, all smiles, teaching your children, moving gracefully from one school subject or task in the home to the next. This is not to discourage you, but to assure you, it is really okay! Remember, we are still on this side of Heaven.
Thankfully the days and years are not bad enough to elicit the previously mentioned feelings very often. We land somewhere in between. We have some days where I feel like we are rocking this school gig, and then we have average days, weeks, and even months—some days are great, others just okay, and some not-so-great. I perpetually hope to get into what I would call a "normal" routine, but with each passing year I am starting to understand that what I view as normal, and real life are two different things, and I need to embrace what comes my way. When I rail against the days where things do not go "as they should," it just causes me misery, which in turn causes my family misery.
So, what have I learned along the way about having bad days? Some bad homeschool days just need to be tossed out. There is always tomorrow, we can always try again. I would venture to say there may be more not-so-great days than there are truly successful days. I have learned to embrace and soak in those “successful” days. I try to not worry much about what is left undone most days, knowing it will just roll into the next. At times those days keep rolling into the following month, but that is all right. It is more about what is learned overall than about each day that matters. Learning is truly always taking place.
During the Winter of 2022, around the two-year mark since the pandemic hit the East Coast of our country and everything went haywire, it had been extra challenging to keep moods positive and continue to walk through each school day. Honestly it felt like walking through mud quite a bit during that time. I had grown very weary of the rough days. I found myself discouraged by just how many of them we were experiencing. I began each week, each day with new-found energy, determined to try again, but the wind was quickly knocked out of my sails. There were days when I questioned it all. There I was, over 20 years into my homeschooling journey, knowing I would not give up, yet very discouraged. I had high hopes and expectations for each new week. We were going to finally find our stride for that second semester. Those expectations get me every time! I remember taking all of my discouragement to the Lord. I laid it at His feet and asked Him to help me understand it all. I felt a sense that He was reminding me of some truths.
On those particularly rough days, these truths remained (& still do):
God is still on the throne.
I am still loved by Him.
His mercies are new each morning.
I am not valued or loved for what I have accomplished in a say. I am loved by an Almighty God Who sees the efforts and will give grace to keep trying.
If the world ended today, would the school lessons that did not happen matter? No. What matters most is that we taught the children about God and His love. We taught them about Eternity
We may be beyond those pandemic days, and the bad days back then were of a different caliber, however, rough days still happen. Therefore, the question remains, what should we do with bad homeschool days?
First and foremost, take a break and get everybody outside and recalibrate. When you come back to school, work on a different subject than you had been doing. If it seems that it is still going in the wrong direction, then learn to let go of the day and be at peace with it. You will be better off the next day for having taken the break. If grandparents live nearby, hop in the car and go visit them. Maybe go to a park and run off some steam. If you are really uncomfortable with giving up a school day, then change the way the school day looks. Use it as a time to catch up on fun school projects or experiments you have been trying to get to but have not had the time. You can snuggle up and watch a movie about something you are learning about, or you can read books together. Take watercolors or colored pencils outside and observe nature. Education is happening constantly in our homeschooling lives. Sometimes we just need to choose a different approach to the day.
On bad days it is important to remember that what children are learning is cumulative, it is not just about what takes place in a day. It can be very discouraging when you are trying to teach your child, and they drift off and do not have any interest in what you are trying to teach them. Or they may be tired from a busy stretch of time and are struggling to focus. This can feel defeating. Therefore, it is important to remember that it is more about what they learn over the span of years than what they learn in each day. They are probably picking up far more than you even realize in those moments.
So, Mama, be gentle with yourself. If you are having a bad day, walk away from it, and spend some time with your precious children. Know it is okay and even beneficial to do this. You've got this, because He’s got you. Don’t forget that!
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